


Chopsticks

by darkling_spark



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: I'm sorry I just had a random idea and couldn't rest until I wrote it down, Really random, Simon can't use chopsticks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:54:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25597615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkling_spark/pseuds/darkling_spark
Summary: Simon doesn't know how to use chopsticks.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 6
Kudos: 35





	Chopsticks

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry, this is very short, and wasn't edited by anyone. It's also quite random.

Damn it.

Shit.

Fuck.

Fuuucck.

This isn’t working. Why is it so hard? I can see Baz laughing at me from the corner of my eye; of course he’s great at this. 

It’s not fair that it’s so much easier for me to wield a sword than to eat with these slippery wooden sticks.

“Do you want some help?” Baz asks.

“No.” I grit my teeth. “I won’t let these chopsticks get the best of me.”

“I hate to say it, but it seems you’re fighting a losing battle.”

He dips another dumpling in the sauce before slipping it into his mouth. How does he manage to smirk while chewing?

“I can do this. It can’t be harder than defeating the Mage.”

“While that’s probably true, it requires a very different skill set. You could hardly challenge the Mage to a rice eating competition.”

“Finally.” I actually managed to pick up a dumpling. 

“Simon, you’re not supposed to spear them with the chopsticks. You put one on each side, and pinch it.”

“But that seems impossible. The directions on the wrapper make no sense. I’m pretty sure that’s instructions to safely summon a demon, not to use these. At least from the pictures. It doesn’t matter anyways, because I can’t read Mandarin to figure out how to do either of those things. It’s a shame, though, a devil could have helped.”

“I can teach you.”

“Of course, the Pitches must have Chinese food every Friday.” 

“Actually, it was Tuesdays,” he returns. “But seriously, it’s not that complicated, once you know what to do. Just be glad I didn’t order rice.”

“What’s so bad about rice?”

“There are thousands of tiny little grains that slide right through the chopsticks. It’s nearly impossible. I remember staying at the table for hours when I was six because my father insisted I finish the food on my plate.” He shudders. “Never get rice when you don’t have a spoon. And noodles… be careful what type you’re ordering.”

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind. I’m failing to pick up these devilish dumplings as is.”

New people have replaced most of the customers at the tables around us. I’m still not even a quarter of the way through my plate. 

Baz sighs. “Look, Simon, that’s enough. I will demonstrate how to, and you can follow along if you like. If not, I suppose I can lower my dignity to ask them to bring you a fork.”

“No! I can do this.”

“Alright. Start by holding one chopstick like a pencil. Now move your third finger to the other side of the chopstick, so that it has more control.”

I nod, having accomplished that much.

“Place the other stick between your second and third fingers, and wrap your thumb over it as well. Now by moving your middle finger, you can control how wide or narrow the space in between them is. You’ll need more space to pick up the food, and make it narrower to move it around.”

That actually makes sense! Until I try it, and the food immediately falls out of my grasp. 

“It takes some time to get used to. Perhaps you ought to try it without the dumpling first,” Baz suggests.

He has a point.

His eyes widen in alarm. “By that I did not mean that you should try to pick up my phone. Simon, you’re supposed to eat with those chopsticks. And I do not trust your skills, please let my phone down before you drop it.”

“Alright, alright.” 

But before I can safely let it down, it begins to slip from my grip. It only falls a couple of inches to the table, but we still both breathe a sigh of relief when Baz flips it over and finds it hasn’t cracked.

“I’ve changed my mind. I’d rather you let the food tumble than my phone.”

Determined not to let this one fall, I grab another dumpling between my chopsticks. It starts to slide when I dip it in the sauce, but I quickly pinch it again and stays in place. I slowly bring it up to my mouth. The flavor of victory is delicious.

“Next time I’m ordering rice and vermicelli noodles.” Baz jokes.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!!! Please talk to me on [tumblr](https://that-bi-bliophile.tumblr.com/)


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